Let me tell you a little bit of my life, the one I’m trying to quit, as a single Christian girl.
The fact that I’m almost 20 years old and have never dated, had a boyfriend, etc has drawn a lot of interest from others in my Christian community. It’s strange. What draws even more interest is that I’m okay if it’s in God’s plan for me to not get married. Disclaimer: I completely want to get married and have a family. I want to be a wife and momma and raise my kids knowing Christ. But if God’s will is different than mine, I want His done instead.
But here’s the pattern I’m trying to get away from. Walking into a place and immediately scanning it to see who the people are and what they look like. Thinking about any and every attractive Christian guy as a potential mate. Preoccupying myself with thinking of anyone all the time but God.
Don’t judge me. Because if you’re a girl, you have/are in the same place. I don’t how guys work, but you might do some of this too. This is what our Christian culture tells us we need to do.
First of all, we have to trust God that He knows what’s best for us. Romans 8:28 tells us,
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
Remember that when you try to take things into your own hands and attract someone on your own terms, you’re being the loud flirtatious woman condemned by the author of Proverbs. I won’t cite a specific verse for that, because there’s several.
Remember that this life is NOT about us and the things we accomplish. If we’re just pining after a person, we’re serving this world. Instead, we should pine after God. Matthew 6:24 says,
No man can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.
It mostly comes down to this: we have put our future someone into a place of idolatry. We focus on finding them more than finding God. And this results in a lack of closeness to God.
This isn’t easy to defeat. It’s a process. I’m in the process of learning to defeat it right now. The key is imperfect progress. No, we won’t always get it right, but KEEP RUNNING BACK TO GOD. We have to constantly give ourselves over to Him. Choosing to follow God isn’t a one time thing, it’s a constant decision. Just remember that even when you fail, God will help you get back up and continue going.
My Nerd Word 
Wowzer! This is a great post! And I don’t know if all guys are similar, but I know that these words apply to this guy particularly, so yes: very similar circumstances for moí. And I’ve never really placed the possibility for a potential mate in the place of idolatry, but it makes perfect sense; anything that will put God second in our heart is an idol. I appreciate this post. It encourages a coarse examination of oneself, but that is appropriate. Sometimes our self-examination needs to be slightly scourging. Highly exhorting, this post is!